suspicious men

today the police were all over our building looking for a suspicious man. what made him suspicious, i do not know. all i know is that the event caused quite a bit of a buzz in my office. i don't know if they found him or not. they never did finish the story for us.

so i went to the breakroom for some water and there was a strawberry shortcake sitting there for everyone to share. i'm sure it was from some luncheon or meeting. so much food around here! anyways, i had wanted a little cake so i went to grab some and i had the weirdest experience. two women, yes a little heavy, started talking about me in the third person. like this:

"Oh, watch her. Watch what size her piece is"
"I bet she ain't gonna take no big piece"

I tried to ignore it but of course they kept at it and i grabbed a little piece and said, well, if you saw what i ate this weekend,you'd understand why i'm not grabbing a bigger piece.

I liked the fact that they weren't apologizing for their size but it felt weird to be picked on for being small.

i need to stop eating sweets all together. an impossibility it feels like. i need to join desserts anonymous.

i'm learning html at work. which is very cool and will help me in the future. i just know it.

meanwhile, my body is hurting everywhere.

west randolph

So, I just got back from a delicious walk west on Randolph. Here’s what I found:

1. toy wholesale warehouse – how can we get in? We need to distribute toys.

2. 2 meat markets with good prices

3. plant warehouse – I need plants for my habitat and didn’t want to ride with one (or six) on the Metra

4. restaurants, restaurants, restaurants – sushi and many others with outdoor seating

5. galleries – found three walls - http://www.three-walls.org/ ­- we need to go! And this is only 15 minute walk from my work.

6. doggy hotel

7. and of course, hair salons

wind storm

the wind is extremely strong today! wowza! i just walked down to the Sears Tower and was nearly blown into the road. everyone has been telling me that i work close to the sears tower but somehow my internal compass did not match up the location. it's only about 10 minutes from here and there is a really cool little park area right across from it. there is grass and trees and adirondack chairs to sit in. i loved it. must have lunch in the park next week. but the wind! okay, you just have to experience it.

today i've been crazy busy trying to get some projects off my list and out the door. a near impossibility at times with the way this group functions. it's okay. i just have to learn to slow down. but i don't know when to stop and wait or to run and chase someone down. still learning.

i do feel better about belonging here and understanding the culture. it also helps that the other new person is a fello goth, so i now have someone to talk alternative with.

a thought that just crossed my mind. i recently saw an ad for a skin lotion that's claim was that it contained urea, a natural skin softner. i thought urea was in urine. it is! so if i take my urine and rub it on my skin will it soften it? did cave women do this? did they care? all i can imagine now is some neolithic cave woman going through her grooming ritual and applying the standards for women grooming ritual today.

and this is advancement?

asian celebration month

downtown in front of the daley plaza, a small bazaar of sorts was set up in celebration of asian american heritage month. there was live music and crowds gathering under various tents exploring clothing, jewelry and who knows what else. i didn't participate because the crowds were so large and i was on my way back to the office after running errands. i really didn't have time though i was intrigued. if i had had more time, i would have just thrown myself into it and let the crowd wash around me.

two people who stuck out today.

1. a woman who had gums as long as her teeth. here smile was equal portions of gum to teeth. it was a bit strange.

2. a boy who at firs i thought was a girl by the way he was dressed. cute little top and tight jeans rolled up to look like crop pants and cute little shoes. add to that his butt and hips were not unlike mine and i thought he was a girl for about a half a minute. then i saw his facial hair. boy.

a couple of good finds

two things of note.

1. there is a binny's downtown within walking distance of where i work. it is located at hubbard and franklin. i think. definitely franklin. not sure about hubbard.

2. small post office at clinton and lake. very easy to walk to. no lines. in and out in minutes and this was at noon!

also i wonder how people handle passing gas in their habitats. i mean, we all have gas, but i never hear anyone. i wonder if people are controlling their gas like me. i don't think this can be good for any of us. i know this is an "unspeakable" subject.

also, i really am starting to like how people 'volley' words over the habitat walls. at first it really put me off. but now i like it and am finding myself becoming more involved in these 'conversations'. still, it's weird to sit and see no one and randomly yell out thoughts. you don't get any of the visual cues you get from face-to-face interactions. another strange way our society is developing.

exhalation

i realized this weekend that i've been holding my breath, waiting for that second childhood that will not come. you really don't get it back. but i miss my 4 year old, 6 year old 10 year old. miss those feelings of being versus these adult descriptions of being. but i finally exhaled.

the scent of chocolate today was powerful. it was the first thing i smelled coming off the metra. if you can imagine sitting in a small room in your house with chocoloate fondue saturating the air, this is how intense the scent is. usually i smell garretts popcorn first as i come out the first set of doors from the train. then i head down the stairs to exit onto washington street. in the food courtyard there is a ribshack and that's the next smell to greet you. the smell of smoke and bbq at 7am makes me salivate. butter and then ribs, what could be better?

i made a judgement on this woman sitting next to me on the train. she seemed to think she was privileged or some other thing. she took up most of the seat with her body and bags. refusing to move the bags to the floor. she then took up the space by reading the newspaper. which, by the way, she dropped to floor as she finished each section. why? she believes it's someone elses responsibility to pick up after her? she just seemed very selfish and self-absorbed.

dogs with badges

so walking by the boeing building this morning and saw my favorite sniffing dog. a black lab who just begs to be petted.i don't. i keep walking. but today as i walked by i noticed the dog has his own badge. i mean a silver star badge like a sheriff. it hangs on his collar and just made me laugh. i wonder what boeing does about security with the metra trains running below it.

i spend my morning yawning and looking through quotes trying to find the "perfect" one for a cover of a booklet. i'm still so new that i'm not sure which direction to go. and everything, i mean everthing, seems to be done by consensus in my work place. i understand it's good for teamwork and making everyone feel that they are involved but sometimes i miss just being able to do what i need to do without approval from everyone. hmmm. i guess in some ways i just hate having to have approval by everyone. except of course when i'm trying to be liked. i want these people to like me. it's a strange sensation and one that i haven't had in while.

metra lemmings

one thing i love about downtown working is the metra. i love the ride. i love reading books. but i hate the lemming effect once we hit olgivie station and everyone pours out of the trains. there must be ten trains that all dock at once and the crowds shuffle along looking for the first revolving entrance. then we all get in line and wait our turn in the crevice. then we shuffle down to the next revolving door where we wait our turn in the crevice. i absolutely hate this part of the day.
i watched a blind man find his way in this mess. i worried about him because of the stairwells that exist on the platform. the stairs that that lead you down a different track than the revolving doors. i saw him catch the post in the middle of the platform but didn't wait to see how he would handle the stairs. there was a line of people there. would he get caught in the line without knowing why? or did he know that people lined up for the stairs as they did for the revolving door. did he ever just once fall down the stairs because no one told him about it. i think blind people are brave for working in this downtown atmosphere.

when i come to the bridge - going to work or coming home - there are the homeless begging. one on each side of the bridge, like poverty bookends. i wonder about them too. i heard once that a 'homeless' man actually made more money than me by begging. he owned a house and three cars. had a family and spent his day begging for money. i wish i were brave enough to make my living through begging. my mennonite sensibilities wouldn't allow it though.

riding home last night on the train i fell in love with chicago alleys - again. i love the alleys here. but last night i kept seeing these rows of alleys with garages backed up against it. one after the other. and i wanted to live in the garages and have access to all of the alley living that must happen. it all seemed so lush under the burgeoning shower of green that was slowly coming forth on the vines and bushes and trees surrounding the garages.

threads and clothing

i keep looking at men's suits and thinking that they have a very interesting array of textures and fabrics available that i don't see for working women. do i need to go to a suit store to find them? i go to old navy and h&m to buy my work clothes. i think i've done quite well with the wardrobe but still. and shoe styles! okay, first women started wearing these very long pointy shoes. very long in the toe. it looks weird. now i see men doing it! i mean the shoe extends maybe 4-5 inches past the toe area. why? why would you want that look? but then again, i'm a clumpy shoe girl, so the pointy toes alone bother me.

the other thing that makes me laugh at humans in general are these 'professional' crop pants. don't get me wrong, i bought two pair. but really they are funny. professional dress slacks that are cropped with a cuff. why does this seem wrong to me.

my habitat has one real wall. it runs against an outside hallway where i can hear the click click click as the women walk. it's really loud when i have my headphones on, i can almost feel the clicks.

the blommer factory was in full force this morning. spreading chocolate goodness throughout the downtown. mmmmm.

is it wrong that i took the only magic marker that smells like grape for my own personal use?