exhalation

i realized this weekend that i've been holding my breath, waiting for that second childhood that will not come. you really don't get it back. but i miss my 4 year old, 6 year old 10 year old. miss those feelings of being versus these adult descriptions of being. but i finally exhaled.

the scent of chocolate today was powerful. it was the first thing i smelled coming off the metra. if you can imagine sitting in a small room in your house with chocoloate fondue saturating the air, this is how intense the scent is. usually i smell garretts popcorn first as i come out the first set of doors from the train. then i head down the stairs to exit onto washington street. in the food courtyard there is a ribshack and that's the next smell to greet you. the smell of smoke and bbq at 7am makes me salivate. butter and then ribs, what could be better?

i made a judgement on this woman sitting next to me on the train. she seemed to think she was privileged or some other thing. she took up most of the seat with her body and bags. refusing to move the bags to the floor. she then took up the space by reading the newspaper. which, by the way, she dropped to floor as she finished each section. why? she believes it's someone elses responsibility to pick up after her? she just seemed very selfish and self-absorbed.